


Horny on Main

by orphan_account



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Blowjobs, Eating out, M/M, Riding, Rimming, beardplay, josh dun's beard appreciation post, like the sexual kind, look I know that isn't a tag but whatever, smut smut smut, you know
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-18
Updated: 2018-12-18
Packaged: 2019-09-21 14:13:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17045219
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Tyler thinks he might be going through menopause because Josh's beard is making him more horny than usual.





	Horny on Main

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ijustsit](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ijustsit/gifts).



> in honor of tumblr killing all porn, I wrote this. Poor Tyler can't be horny on main no more.
> 
> Also dedicated to my fren. Love you.

Josh hadn’t shaved in a while.

It wasn’t anything Tyler was particularly upset about; in fact, he was a big fan of facial hair. It felt nice when it scratched across his skin during a cheeky kiss here and there. No, mostly, it was something he had just noticed throughout his day-to-day business.

While Tyler worked a job out in the real world, Josh worked from home and was often too lazy to shower, shave, or even change out of his pajamas. Tyler couldn’t blame him all that much— he wouldn’t change either if he didn’t need to. Pjs and sweatpants were a lot better than button-ups and khakis.

Josh hadn’t gotten his hair cut in a while either. It was started to curl at the nape of his neck in a way that made it seem like he might be able to pull it up into a bun if he wanted to. Josh’s hair was crazy curly in the first place, but now that it was getting this long, it seemed even curlier.

He spent his free time at the gym working out and was now extremely well fit. Josh’s pecks bulged underneath plain tees and the buttons looked ready to pop when he dressed up for Tyler’s work parties. Tyler was proud of his boyfriend for working his ass off. When they had first gotten together, Josh has claimed he was “pudgy and gross,” and had been extremely self-conscious. Now, he seemed confident. Tyler loves him with all his heart.

Lately, Tyler had felt even more attracted to his boyfriend-turned-hipster-lumberjack. He found himself staring at Josh’s curves and butt and his jawline and everything in between. Maybe he was going through some midlife crisis that made him more horny than usual, but he swore he hadn’t been this attracted to his boyfriend since the very beginning of their relationship.

He gets home around four, his usual time, and dumps his bag onto the sofa. Fortunately, it was Friday, meaning he’d have the weekend off. That was at least one perk of being a choir teacher.

Josh is in his office, typing away at the computer, wearing nothing but a pair of plaid pajama bottoms. Tyler feels his crotch stir and has a sudden urge to latch onto his skin and start sucking.

“Hey,” Josh says casually over his shoulder, flashing a perfect, bright smile. Just another thing to make Josh the most attractive human being on the planet. “How was work?”

“A kid threw up because he didn’t breathe during his solo.” Tyler rolls his eyes. “I swear to God, some of these high school kids are going to run straight into walls after college.”

“After they get in, of course.” Josh spins around, grinning mischievously. He scratches his tummy before standing up to pull Tyler into a hug. Tyler massages Josh’s sides with his thumbs.

“I hope these kids get into college. Not all of them are dumb, you know.”

“I think I just compare every kid to how I was in high school. Be glad you didn’t know me.”

Tyler plants a kiss on Josh’s shoulder and pulls away. “I played basketball in high school. I think I was much more fit than I am now.” He pats his stomach and squeezes the pudge of his hips. Josh scoffs.

“Oh, please. You’re perfect.”

“To you, maybe.” He sticks his tongue out playfully. “Put some clothes on and shower. I’m taking you out tonight.”

“Aren’t you nervous your students might see you out with your boyfriend?” No one, not even many of his coworkers, knew Tyler was a closeted homosexual. He didn’t feel it necessary to come out because he loved Josh and Josh loved him and that was all that mattered. Besides, even though he had introduced Josh as his “partner” to his closest coworkers, many didn’t seem to understand exactly what that meant.

“Nah,” Tyler shrugs, “if they know, they know. I don’t care that much.” He didn’t want this job to get in the way with his relationship. Both him and Josh both considered themselves bisexual so it wasn’t like Tyler had never been with a female, Josh too. It just so happened that they had found each other.

“I don’t think most people are quick to assume you’re gay anyway. They probably think we’re like, close friends or something. Like that one guy.”

Ah, yes. Mr. Edward James, a clueless ally who didn’t realize Tyler was gay until he literally told the man “hey, I am gay. Josh is my boyfriend. We kiss and stuff.” A lot of people thought very similarly. Tyler wondered why asking if someone was gay was the last scrap at the barrel.

“Exactly. Unless we’re either kissing or having sex right there on the floor, I think we’ll be okay.”

“As great as public sex sounds, I don’t think we should do that in a family restaurant.” Josh kisses Tyler’s cheek on his way out.

Great. Now Tyler’s thinking about making a sex tape. He wonders how opposed Josh would be to that.

 

* * *

 

The restaurant they go to isn’t the fanciest, but it ain’t no Applebee’s either. After many glasses of wine, they stumble back home, giggling with their arms linked until they fall into bed. It had been a while since they had gotten out for a date night.

In bed, Tyler straddles Josh and leans forward to quickly kiss his lips. He’s teasing, trying to entice him for more. Josh continues to giggle underneath Tyler’s tight grip.

Being an adult and having an adult job was great in many ways, but it also sucked, because they didn’t have much time to screw around. Any seconds they had available Tyler was more than happy to use up to make Josh feel as good as possible.

“I think I’m going through menopause,” Tyler murmurs as he chews on Josh’s bottom lip. He feels Josh’s hand beginning to palm at his erection, which is ever so slightly bumping against Tyler’s own.

“Why do you think that?” Josh grunts and stretches his neck up to allow Tyler access to his Adam’s Apple. It was a favorite place of his to be touched, and Tyler aims big, kissing it over and over again before moving to suck a hickey. It was a good thing Josh worked from home because Tyler had a lot of fun marking him up. What was even funnier was that Josh wasn’t allowed to leave marks anywhere that people could see since Tyler worked in a government funded institution and that was usually frowned upon.

“I’ve been so horny lately. I just look at you and want to rip your clothes off. Especially ever since you’ve been letting your hair grow out.” Tyler sinks his fingers into Josh’s curly, lush locks to illustrate his point and grabs ahold of it like he’s taking the reigns of a horse to kiss him passionately. He can taste the wine on Josh’s breath if he thinks about it hard enough.

“You like the beard?”

“I love your facial hair.” Tyler leans back on Josh’s legs and begins to gracefully loosen Josh’s tie and unbutton his shirt. He’s had many years of practice to perfect the art of making Josh naked. It was something he was quite proud of.

“I don’t think guys go through menopause, but maybe there’s an exception for you.” He grins sheepishly as he leans back on his arms to give Tyler a height advantage.

“You look like a lumberjack. If you were wearing a flannel shirt, I’d probably cream my pants.”

“Dude.” Josh honks loudly, clutching his sides in laughter as Tyler pops the last button and slides his shirt off Josh’s arms. He begins to create a trail of delicate, butterfly-like kisses up his torso and to each one of his hardened nipples. It was tradition, after all. Josh loved having his nipples touched.

“You’re fucking attractive, Jishwa. I don’t know what else to tell you.” Josh stops Tyler from kissing his bulging pectorals and uses his pointer finger to hook underneath Tyler’s collar in an attempt to bring him closer. Sexual activity between the two of them often resulted in a dance for dominance where the leader changed frequently. Even now, where Tyler had led Josh through the evening with him wrapped around his finger, Tyler felt like jelly succumbing to his cat-like movements.

“You’re attractive,” Josh whispers seductively as he begins to loosen Tyler’s tie, “and I don’t know what else to tell _you.”_

“You’re mean.” Josh isn’t mean. Tyler is just bad at accepting compliments.

“You’re a dick.”

“You’re an ass.”

“You’re a _bastard,”_ Josh hisses, yanking again on Tyler’s collar to kiss him. A few seconds pass where they forget their surroundings, too caught up in each other to realize what was to come next. Josh’s hands fumble against Tyler’s chest to get his shirt off and Tyler flings his arms back so it falls to the ground below. Now, pressed chest to chest, Tyler finds himself rolling his hips and desperately wanting to feel Josh’s cock pressed against his.

Fortunately for him, Josh seems to be in the same headspace because he’s already finger deep in attempting to take Tyler’s pants off without even bothering to look, too busy kissing Tyler’s stupid chapped lips. He’s glad Josh has been with him long enough to not care.

With the rest of their clothes discarded haphazardly onto the bedroom floor, Tyler is back in Josh’s lap, grinding his hips eagerly so his cock slides against Josh’s with enough forward momentum to send his stomach into his ribcage. Josh grunts under him, he too rolling his body enough to feel the friction of Tyler’s naughty bits against his. He could cry, it feels so good. Masturbating to porn would never compare to the real thing.

Josh spits in his hand to lube it up before wrapping it around both their dicks to stroke them as quickly as he could muster. Working out gave him more endurance, plus Josh was the one with bigger hands so it just made sense. Tyler positions his hands around the back of Josh’s neck so he can kiss him and his philtrum while Josh jerks them off.

He knows there are a lot of people out there who wouldn’t want to watch him and his future husband make love, but Tyler loved being a part of this. He couldn’t contain his love for Josh, especially not when they were naked and rutting against each other. Human beings were like any other animals; they too had a mating season and wants and needs that needed to be met in order to be satisfied. They just went about it in a dignified way.

“Okay,” Josh suddenly says, stopping all movement to flip Tyler onto his back. Tyler goes limp, allowing himself to be the putty Josh molds as his legs are bent at the knee and his arms are moved to grasp at pillows. Tyler is hard enough at this point that his dick stayed pressed against his stomach, allowing Josh ease to his testicles and even his ass.

Starting at the knee, Josh begins to kiss down Tyler’s inner thigh, letting his hands fondle with Tyler’s balls. The younger boy begins to whine a bit, letting his fingers sink into the cotton pillowcases and his hips to jerk into Josh’s palm. And then, that bastard, takes a testicle in his mouth and begins to lick what feels like everywhere at one time with _no warning._ Tyler is in sex heaven, gasping and moaning without recollection as Josh licks up his shaft and takes the head of his dick into his mouth.

“Fuck,” he breathes heavy, moving a hand to yank sharply on Josh’s long hair, “oh, _fuck you,_ Josh...”

Josh’s head bobs up and down as Tyler watches through heavy, half-lidded eyes. He can’t remember the last time he got a blowjob like this from Josh, but he’s pretty sure it was at some college party. Sometimes they liked to get risky and do things in public.

Unlike last time, Tyler deems this the best blowjob of his life.

Josh doesn’t stop there, because of course he doesn’t. He shifts the lower half of Tyler’s body further down the mattress and pushes his knees up so he can lick his asshole. Tyler could be less vulgar and use a number of frilly, polite words to describe what was happening, but he found it better to be frank. Josh was licking his asshole. Josh was eating him out.

And it felt fucking _fantastic._

With that long, scratchy beard of his numbing his skin and turning it red, Tyler was lost on cloud nine. God, Tyler never wanted Josh to shave. He wanted his boyfriend to look like a sexy, hipster lumberjack all the goddamn time fucking _forever._

At one point, Josh turns Tyler over onto his stomach, a much more comfortable position. Tyler props his head onto his folded arms and hums a song he heard on the radio as Josh continues to work magic with that wonderful tongue of his. A sudden sting comes from where Josh’s open palm slaps his right cheek, but it only makes Tyler more aroused. He yells out another frustrated “FUCK!” before Josh returns to kissing and licking and nipping all of the most sensitive parts of Tyler’s body.

Tyler can feel himself reaching his orgasm. He stops Josh from returning to his asshole with a strong hand on his arm and says, “I want to come in you.”

Josh’s grin is orgasmic. “Yeah?”

“Oh, yeah.” He straightens his legs and beckons for Josh to sit in his lap. Once again, their cocks pressed together, Tyler blindly slaps around until he finds the handle for the drawer on the end table and grabs the rather large bottle of watermelon flavored lube they keep inside. Tyler uncaps it with one thumb, (the skill) and pours a copious amount into his open palm. He probes Josh’s entrance, his whole body tingling as Josh quivers at the feeling, before pushing in. While Josh rubs their cocks together, Tyler slides his finger in and out of Josh, which soon becomes two, and then three, before Josh tells Tyler he’s ready. Tyler is on the verge of coming, and he knows it because he can feel how tense his muscles are. There are pins and needles in his hands and feet as he straightens his dick enough for Josh to sit on it after about more lube is spread between their respected parts.

Sure enough, even with Josh riding him and his nails digging into Josh’s firm ass, he comes after about thirty seconds, yelling into the night and disturbing the neighbors as Josh continues to bounce up and down on Tyler’s dick. Tyler gasps loudly because his entire cock is sensitive and Josh isn’t giving him any time to recuperate but lasts as Josh comes a minute later all over Tyler’s stomach. They unite in one more kiss to close the night off, riding the last of the ecstasy until Josh pops off and settles down next to Tyler.

“Next time we should record that.” Tyler is surprised when it is Josh who says that.

“That would be hot,” Tyler says back.

 

* * *

 

In the morning, as he’s sliding on jeans, he can’t help but grin at all the beard scratches he has on his inner thighs.

He’s gonna fucking marry that man someday.

**Author's Note:**

> pahcheetah on tumblr let's talk about Josh's beard


End file.
